The Five Providences (Installment 13)

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I open my eyes with Vel right in my face. Her white silhouette still slightly shimmering about her. I push her away from me.

            “What was that?!” I feel outraged. My little flame inside twirling with anger. “You did not say anything about the spirit world. I trusted you!” I sink into the couch. My body is drained but shaking with anger.

            “You are still half in the spirit world now.” She says unsympathetically. My chest is bobbing up and down from my heavy breathing. “It will become easier and easier for you to slip in and out of spiritual sight. Eventually you might not even need the Windstorm Tonic.” She casually sucks on the hookah.

            “I do not ever want to see the spirit world again.” I hiss through my teeth.

            “That is too bad. Eventually you would have seen it. I have just opened a door for you.” She puffs out a series of “O” shaped smoke rings. The smell starts to make me sick again. “An easier door than most.” She takes in another breath. “Tell me what do you see?” I tilt my head a little and bite the inside of my cheek.

            “You can be defiant or you can learn about what you have already been gifted with.” She says in a harsh tone. “Believe me when I say you have had the gift. It just was not fully developed.”

            “I see shimmering lights around you. They change color, and there’s a flame inside of you. Just above your stomach.” I say through gritted teeth.

            “Perfect. And the colors? What do they mean?”

            “How should I know that?” I say getting irritated.

            “Do not play stupid with me, girl.” She blows the tonic smoke in my face.

            “Red is passion. It might be zeal it might be anger. I do not know.” I bite down on my lip.

            “Continue.” She says sucking in another bit of Windstorm Tonic, and I continue.

            “Gray is some kind of distress.” She nods.

            “Graying of the soul, which is the fire you see, begins when you are under stress. The more stress you encounter, the darker it turns.” She looks at me intently.

            “Till it turns black? Doesn’t that mean they are evil? If they have a black soul, I mean.”

            “No… If they give themselves to evil… Their soul will be smothered by a nephtai…” I see Vel’s body try to control a nervous tremor. “Sometimes more than one.” She snaps herself back to reality.  An evil spirit… that does not seem like a gift.

            “Those silhouettes or color shadows you see around a person describe their overall selves. Their soul may be red in the moment you see it, but their overall self might be a neutral white.”

            “I told you I did not want this gift.” I say as all of this information overwhelms my mind.

            “Well, that doesn’t much matter when you were born with it, now does it?” She puts the spout in its holding spot. “You need some kind of defense, tomorrow. Something very big will happen to you…” She pauses in deep thought. “Something very big indeed.” Which does not curb my anxiety. “I have only started you on your journey. There will be much more for you to learn. After tomorrow’s event we will train more. You will grow thankful for this gift. Not many will ever know they even have it… You are fortunate.” I nod, because I know I have no choice. There is no arguing with Vel… I have learned that very quickly.

~*~

I can’t help but keep my eyes glued to the brown ceiling. All the girls in the Wolah house are sound asleep. I assume that their strict well-disciplined schedules keep their bodies on a constant track. My mind flits from thing to thing. Flying, adventuring to different lands, but mostly to tomorrow’s event. My heart begins to pound as I take apart the ideas of my commitment. I am going to willing go to a party with tons of drunk diplomats, possibly be groped, thrown up on, or abused… My head feels like it is going to explode… At the expense of someone’s freedom… My stomach begins to solidify and my heart rate begins to slow. I suppose that is worth it… I nod my head and make up my mind. However, my dreams do not follow suit.

            I shut my eyes and I’m whisked into a large room filled with wonderful exotic foods and wines. Women dance in scandalous clothing. Some women speak with the clearly intoxicated men. One man in particular is half resting on the dancer while his head wrap  leans to one side. My vision blurs and I am standing in front of Jezab and a friend of his. My whole body tenses. He looks at me, but says nothing. Then I realize he is looking through me. He must not be able to see me.

            “I would like to take one of these girls and add them to my collection.” He smiles, the alcohol emanating from his breath. I spit in disgust.

            “How about that one?” His friend suggests. I follow his gaze and my vision blurs again, I am now across the room dancing foolishly to the music as if I have had too much wine. I feel Jezab’s eyes on me and I instantly know he has recognized me. He stands up stiffly and cautiously makes his way over to me. I can’t do anything but dance. My legs unwilling to spring into a full run, only the repetitious dance moves come to my mind. I blink and suddenly he is only a few feet away from me. His strides longer and more robust. Then his muscles contract and he jumps towards me. His hands locking around my biceps as he shakes me. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. Nothing but panic and grief. A pulse goes through my head and I’m back in the erratic world of spirits. Everyone’s color shadows blinding me. I press through and focus on Jezab. His color shadow a sickly yellow radiating from the inside out. His soul a bright and brilliant red… He’s enjoying this. My eyes snap to a dark shadow hovering over his shoulder. It’s hard to focus as he shoves me into a wall. No one tries to help. In fact no one seems to notice what is happening at all. I see the darkness flicker again. The words spill out of my mouth.

“What are you?” And just like that the darkness sharpened into a humanoid being. Well muscled and at least ten feet tall. Large black leathery wings jut from his back folded into a much smaller dimension. His eyes are slits in his head, while the rest of his features are dull and barely exist. His nose barely a small ridge, and the only indication of his mouth a long horizontal slit.  He has an overwhelming power radiating from his very being. My body starts to violently shake from fear. The creature smiles to reveal his sharp obsidian teeth.

            “I my dear…” He leans in close. “am a nephtai. You are afraid aren’t you?” He leans closer till our foreheads are just inches apart. Tears start to spill out of my eyes. My sanity feels like it might fly away like a flock of chased birds. The demon smirks again his breath smells like death.

 

I shut my eyes as I start to lose my breath. The oxygen escaping my body. I feel like I might start to lose consciousness, when suddenly my body screams for air and I’m thrown from my dream world.

I’m back in the Wolah house, sweating spots into my clothes. My hands gripping the sheets in terror, and then… I throw up.